family visits are not vacations!

I'm writing this little post from the spare bedroom of my mother-in-law's place, which always smells like mothballs and farts. It also has tiny toilets that are not "man-friendly", if you know what I mean. She bought the place more than ten years ago, replaced the carpet and painted all the walls, and it still smells horrible. Maybe she needs her ducts cleaned. Maybe it is her.

I think this is the last trip to visit family that we will be making in a long time. The 900+ mile roadtrip across Kansas is anything but enjoyable, particularly with the children in tow. It takes twice as long to drive as it should, since the kids have to use the bathroom every half-hour. (When they are home, they poop once a day. While traveling, they go four or five times a day. I'm starting to think that they enjoy touring public restrooms or something.) Gas is now ridiculously expensive, and I'm tired of using up my free hotel nights (earned throughout the year with credit card purchases) on these hellish journeys. When we arrive here in Denver, the wind and dryness is absolute murder on my sinus cavities, and every time I blow my nose it looks like a kleenex full of blended raspberries. Yuck!

The kids also act horrible when we come here - a result of being overstimulated, exhausted, and spoiled rotten by their grandparents. Our family members fight over our time, and always feel cheated even if we plan outings specifically with each one of them. Regardless of how well we coordinate the visit, they are never satisfied. On top of all of that, my wife and I get zero time alone and the guest bedroom doesn't even have a lock. So no nookie! Honestly, this is it. No more traveling to visit family. If they want to see us, they can come visit us from now on.