survival of the fit-in-ness

Can you seamlessly blend into a city full of strangers and survive with no cash? This is one of the questions I was proposed while perusing the latest opportunities over at PayPerPost when I ran across one for USA Network's Burn Notice, a new saga in which a former spy attempts to "survive" in a strange city after receiving notice that he has been surplussed. He has to use his wit to find ways to getting by with no cash. It's an interesting premise for a series, I must admit. I wonder how I would fare in such a dilemma. It doesn't sound *that* difficult...

First off, find yourself a church. No, not to ask God for help or to beg for alms, but because churches often host special occasions that involve free food. We're talking weddings, bar mitzvahs, and if you're really desperate, there's always communion. Grocery stores and supermarkets are also decent sources of food on "sample days". Don't forget that you can usually walk to the deli to sample their meats and cheeses, too. Just tell them that you're looking for something exotic for a very special luncheon.

As for finding a place to stay, there are a few things that I can think of that might ensure a comfortable night's stay. First, pick up some free travel guides or random free publications at the entrance of a local gas station or supermarket. Another source of "study fodder" might be to walk by some hare krishna's for their "free" literature. (This time, hold them to that "free" offering and ignore their request for "required" donations.) Then, head over to the nearest state or community college and "camp out" in the student lounges. Make sure that you move from one study area to another every few hours so as not to draw attention. However, it is fairly common to catch glimpses of snoring students in these areas. Assuming that you haven't already established a homeless appearance to compliment your living situation, just tassel your hair and loosen your belt and you should be able to blend in with the other students with no problem.

While you're there, it wouldn't hurt to check out the message boards. In some cases there are job postings or rooms for rent. I knew an awful lot of dumb college students back in the day who wouldn't know enough to check your references or make sure that you have a job before entering into a "roomie" agreement. This should give you a few days to find a job and secure some cash.

Of course if you were looking for an "honest" way to find food and shelter, you may have to rely on the pity of others via such avenues as the local food bank and homeless shelter. Definitely not as much fun, though.