soundblocker for kids

I was thinking recently about a great invention for parents of wild, unruly children - an astronaut helmet, complete with oxygen tank. Why? Because I just got back from Mal-Wort and my kid was screaming the entire time we were in the store. God, I hate that! You know the attitude that some kids get - the fit that ensues regardless of what you do for them. You let them out of the cart - they scream. You carry them - they scream. You get them a bite from the "sample lady" - they eat it voraciously and...scream. I considered buying him some candy, but I don't like to reward him for terrible behavior. Instead, I bought the rest of the family candy, and we ate it in front of him while driving home. What better way to reinforce that good behavior has its rewards?

Personally, I get tired of trying to appease my kid, and am sometimes tempted to bring along some earplugs, but that wouldn't stop me from getting the same dirty looks from the other customers. Not that I mind dirty looks, but coupled with some earplugs, I might be asking for a brawl. (If *i* gotta listen to *your* kid, you sure as hell have to!) Maybe I should bring earplugs for everyone else...

So this is my idea. Make an astronaut helmet for a kid that is air (and sound) tight, with a some sort of rechargeable oxygen tank that they can wear like a backpack. Maybe throw in a plastic laser gun to get them more excited about wearing it. Problem is - there would be safety concerns. Anything that is airtight could suffocate them, but making it not airtight would also negate its sound-proof qualities. Alas, back to the drawing board. As I mentioned to my wife, why not just let me stay home with the kid next time?